DJ Tova

06.17.05


Elly had some fun with GarageBand the other day and produced Tova's debut single. You can download it here. It's some kind of electronica, I guess. Alan or Cyrus, feel free to clarify which genre this fits into.
So I've been coding in both Ruby in Java quite a bit lately (and C++ too, but that's not so easily confused for some reason). I observed an interesting phenomenon today. I was trying to write a Java boolean expression at one point, and the following just flowed off my fingertips:
 if someString != null and someString.length() > 0 
IntelliJ told me how stupid I was just about as quickly as the text appeared on the screen. It said to me, "Hey stupid, 'and' is not a boolean operator in Java! And hey, where are your frickin' parentheses? What are you, like a dynamic language person or something? Shame on you! Don't you know the whole world would fall apart if you didn't constantly reinforce it with extra parentheses and syntax?" The red syntax highlighting in IntelliJ quickly got me back in line, and I swore I'd never offend it again with such happy-go-lucky poppycock.

Another similar experience occurred later this afternoon, when I found myself wondering, "Where is the java List.find() method and how do I give it a closure to execute?" Oh silly me, I was doing it again. Closures in java? What was I thinking? I went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face to wake up from this ambiguous land of juby or rava or wherever my brain was.

The interesting part of this story is that when I went home and started playing with ruby, I didn't start thinking, "How can I add more parentheses? How can I turn this closure into an annoying class that implements a few obscure interfaces?" To me, it was a good real-life example of how the good ideas behind good tools stay with you because they're good ideas. In other words, a closure is really handy, and so is simple and expressive syntax, so my brain didn't want to let go of those ideas. It wasn't just a difference in dialect.

Before you're a parent, you really don't think about screaming as a permanent state of being. You can't really conceive of an environment where the background noise is one perpetual shreik. And why should you? It doesn't make sense that one human being would be happy to scream for hours at a time while their fellow human beings' ears turn red and then rupture. Who would do such a thing?

Then you have kids and you realize that the power of their lungs alone could probably jolt the moon out of orbit, if scientists were ever able to harness that power and direct it. Unfortunately, no one can harness that power. No one can control that power, except your one year old daughter, who is bent on destroying the gadgetry that composes your inner ear or driving you off the second-floor deck of your apartment. Or both. Our daughter likes to lure you in with a cute face until you are in maximal audio-frequency-blaster range.

Besides the "I'm cute, come have your hearing destroyed" tactic, Tova's other #1 weapon of audio destruction is the "It's six A.M. and I'm the loudest thing in the western hemisphere" tactic. It is more of a brute force attack, but it works brilliantly because at six in the morning I can't really see anything. By taking out my hearing, Tova efffectively renders me a zombie, eager to do her every bidding. I navigate by touch and smell (my nose directs me to the coffee maker) and I try to do things that make the screaming go away. Those things include:

  • Picking up her hedgehog for the 4078th time so that she can throw it on the ground again.
  • Giving her a different variation on Plums, Bananas, Blueberries, and Strawberry Medley organic smelly babyfood.
  • Throwing cheerios back at her.
  • Giving her food that is generally not edible by the human species, with the exception of teething one year olds (I'm thinking of the zwieback toast from gerber, which resembles scrap plywood coated in sandpaper).
  • Generally dancing around like an idiot to make her laugh and stop the assault on my eardrums.
I need to get back to work now. It is quiet at the moment, as Tova is fast asleep.
I think I just spent about 2-3 extra weeks working on a project just because we didn't have the source code available. A problem that would have been immediately obvious to someone reading the source required us to do extensive testing and reverse engineering. I'm not a crazy communist-corporation-hating smelly long-haired open-source activist, but my recent trials with a certain Microsoft library were enough to make me consider going that route. I'm not naive enough to think that the whole world will one day be open-source. In fact, I don't even care if it is or not. I just want people to understand the cost of closed-source. In today's software industry, the amount code re-use and componentization just keeps growing. As software becomes more complex, vendors must depend on other vendors to provide the bits and pieces that are used to build a complete software solution. This is a Good Thing. The Bad Thing is that we are living under this lame assumption that hiding source code is preventing businesses from losing money. Please, add up the hours and days I spent reverse-engineering this fix, and put it on an accounting sheet under the heading "Price of Using Closed-Source Library" or "Time Spent Speculating About What's in the Black Box We Paid For." Then we can see if closed-source is really protecting business interests. It's kind of like that theory that I first read about in Natural Capitalism where, if you make businesses count the cost of their environmental misbehavior, then they might consider stopping it. But only until they see the cost.

spamusement!

06.03.05


This site is addictive and very funny. It is good to see that there is some value in all of the gazillions of bits of spam that clog our electronic arteries.
We recently had both my parents and Elly's mom stop by for a few days (separate visits). It was great to see them and for them to see Tova. I was very glad to see how much easier it is for my mom to get around with her new hip. My dad and I got to do some fishing on the Big Thompson, which was a lot of fun even though we got skunked. Those are the smartest trout I think I've ever fished for, with the exception of the ones in the South Platte. I'm sure Dad would say that the New Zealand trout are the smartest. I can't argue with that, but I know that it's much better to be out-smarted by big trout (like in NZ) than it is to be laughed at by these puny little things that we were casting to.

Lynn had a fun time taking care of both Elly and Tova, since Elly came down with a wicked bug right before I left for Seattle. She recovered a couple of days into Lynn's visit, but we were really grateful that she (Lynn) was willing to come out and give a hand on short notice. It was like calling up a one-man Navy SEAL team, except instead of shooting bad guys, she did laundry and changed diapers. One thing that surprised me was how close we are to Elly's family if you don't mind flying. One afternoon I said, "Elly, do you want to see if your mom can fly out tonight?" and then 6 hours later she was in our apartment. The fare wasn't bad at all, either. If only there was a nonstop flight to Hartford, we'd be all set.