Bis and Joel, I have to publicy thank you for our wonderful merchandise from the Horn of Africa. Of course, my adhan-playing "Mosque Shape" alarm clock is the most prized item that we received. It is truly amazing that someone would choose to wake up next to this thing. It doesn't just make you feel like you're in Sana'a--it's like you're actually up in the minaret with the caller. Like 4000 decibels, I'm not kidding.
But the funniest thing we got, by far, was the "Leondard di Venchy" tag:
Leonard di Venchy The Famous Italy Male[All spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors are reproduced faithfully above.]
Fashion Brand,inherits The
European Classical Design Style,simple,fluent,
comfortalle And Dainty,with The Best
Quality Raw Materials refined And Precise
Workmanship,its Top Style Display In All Aspects!
With Great Efforts To Emerge Into
The Globalized Economy.
Now if Gap sold clothes that made great efforts to emerge into the globalized economy, I might shop there more often. Oh Leonard, I mean, Mr. di Venchy, did you ever dream of the fashion you would one day inspire in lands far and wide?